Category: Alamobsession

Breaking news from the Alamo: The horse is already out of the barn.

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Hate to employ such a tired cliché, but it is so to the point.

Not sure whom in the state government Commissioner Jerry Patterson offended to be tossed into the lions’ den of Alamo politics, but the additional Sisyphean task of defending the Alamo against copyright infringement might just send the commissioner calling for an appointment at Alamo Psychiatric Care, conveniently located just outside the compound’s walls and one of more than 1,000 such-named businesses operating right here in the Alamo City.

If one were Alamobsessive to the extreme, one could go through one’s whole life in San Antonio only patronizing businesses electing to honor our Texas heroes by remembering the Alamo in their names. You could comfortably live in the ’09 neighborhood named for its location on a rise overlooking the poor flatlanders living near the Alamo itself.

You could come into and leave this world that way, literally go from cradle to grave, progressing from delivery as a baby by Alamo obstetricians to your final embalmment at Alamo Funeral Home. In this city, as across much of Texas, there is virtually no need to contract for any non-Alamo service from the floors in your house to chimney sweeps on your rooftop (Although in conducting research for this post, I confess I failed to click on any Alamo escort services, fearing I might catch a plague of never-ending promiscuity-promoting pop-ups.).

Last month’s Alamo crisis was all about alcohol. Only last night, Alamo Beer was served publicly on Alamo Plaza. Imagine that.

The Daughters of the Republic of Texas defending the Alamo against an invasion of hooch tend to overlook the abundance of hooch-holding receptacles available in their own gift shop. René Guzman of the San Antonio Express-News described the numerous opportunities to take a “shot for the shrine:”

Next to coffee mugs, shot glasses pack the Alamo gift shop like so many troops of varying heights, widths and alcohol-holding capacities. And nothing puts the “shot” in shot glass quite like an Alamo shotgun-shell shot glass ($4.95) and One Last Shot! pistol shot glass ($4.25). If you prefer your liquor with a bit more dignity, try the Crockett, Bowie and William Travis shot glass three-pack ($9.95).

Helen L. Montoya photo from Express-News
Photographer Helen L. Montoya of the San Antonio Express-News took photos of items from the Alamo Gift Shop. For some reason, the Daughters of the Republic of Texas diligently defend the inner sanctum of the Alamo Gift Shop from photographers.

Yes, Commissioner Patterson, for lessons in preserving the dignity when remembering the Alamo, you need look no farther than the gift shop shelves themselves. As Guzman wrote:

Dig a little deeper and you’ll find more kitsch than you can throw a rubber Bowie knife at.
The newest commercial affront to the dignity of the shrine arises in the Alamo’s front yard, on the river at the base of the Hyatt Regency, from a lowly worm – The Worm Tequila and Mescal Bar. According to a story in the Express-News by Scott Huddleston, the owners of the bar were seeking a trademark of the phrase “I Can’t Remember the Alamo.”

The General Land Office, newly charged to defend the Alamo and the shelves in its gift shop, rose to the charge. According to Huddleston:

In the new trademark case, the Land Office said the issue is not about alcohol, but preservation of an 1836 Texian battle cry, “Remember the Alamo,” that, to many, still captures the spirit of Texas and the state’s proud but complex history.
Mark Loeffler, Land Office spokesman, said Qwercky’s application mentions mugs, clothing and even underwear as potential merchandise.
“Surely there must be other ways to promote a bar than disparaging the memory of not only the defenders of the Alamo, but the Spanish priests and Native Americans who died there during the 300-year history of the mission,” he said.

The General Land Office need not fear this affront to the battle cry “Remember the Alamo,” emblazoned for years, sometimes in compromising positions, on the front of t-shirts in shop display windows encircling the plaza. The wheels of justice in the state of Texas sometimes turn slowly, but vigilante justice already has taken its course.

The messenger recently escaped from behind the Alamo walls, a Daughter disowned by her siblings, Sarah Reveley summoned the power of facebook to alert the hotel hosting the new bar to the potential dangers to the hotel’s reputation. The response was swift:

Dear Sarah,
I am in receipt of the note you sent our corporate office today regarding your concern over marketing programs by one of our tenants. The Worm is a leased outlet on the river level of our hotel and is an autonomous operation. We unfortunately were not aware of this marketing position and trademark request by the operator until today. I have spoken to the owner and conveyed our concerns with this and have in fact exercised the hotels right that prohibit any advertising that tends to impair the reputation of the area. I have conferred with the owner of this establishment and he is withdrawing the trademark request.

Regards,
Peter
Peter McMahon
General Manager Hyatt Regency San Antonio

If the cash-strapped founders of the Republic of Texas had the foresight to comprehend the potential commercial value of the “Alamo” after the crushing defeat, they certainly would have arrived on the plaza as soon as possible to stake their claim to the word. But they did not, and Alamo businesses began to multiply almost immediately.

Of course, a dramatic way for the General Land Office to leave all the thousands of businesses with Alamo logos throughout the country out in the cold is to give the Alamo a crewcut. Return the facade to its time-of-the-battle flat-top, and trademark the new outline. That would certainly leave warehouses in China full of thousands of outdated t-shirts and shot glasses.
But, with the need for immediate action averted, perhaps Commissioner Patterson should adopt an unusual strategy. “Alamo” is so widespread, it seems impossible to regulate. So don’t.
While it is not in the spirit of the defenders to surrender, raise the white flag. Instead of carefully monitoring people applying to trademark Alamo-this or Alamo-that, rule that there will be absolutely no trademarks issued in the state of Texas with the word “Alamo” in them at all. If entrepreneurs can’t corner the market on a tacky item or ensure competitors can’t immediately copy the name of their businesses, the number of so-named products and businesses might decrease instead of increasing.
Plus, after years of abuse and indignities, some of them suffered within the walls of the Alamo Gift Shop itself, few battle sites in the world are as well-remembered as the Alamo. Even “I can’t remember the Alamo” only makes one remember the Alamo.
Blue Book No. 1, “See Sallie After the Alamo,” digital collage by Gayle Brennan Spencer, http://postcardssanantonio.com.

Update on August 24, 2012:  San Antonio Express-News editorial suggests “Land Office should drop errant suit:”

Now Patterson has waded into an ill-considered trademark battle with the owner of two bars seeking to block use of an irreverent riff on the battle cry, “Remember the Alamo!” The bar owner is using the phrase, “I Can’t Remember the Alamo.” In a notice filed with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office, the Land Office argued that the “applicant’s mark disparages the deceased combatants of the Battle of the Alamo by communicating that their sacrifice was not worthy of memory or esteem.”

The objections of the Land Office are ironic, given the criticism directed at it by those who objected that allowing alcohol to be served at Alamo Hall disparaged the sacrifice of Alamo defenders. The two bars are a block or more away from Alamo Plaza.

The Land Office and taxpayers have a legitimate interest in seeing that the state’s trademark on the phrase “The Alamo” is not infringed upon or diluted. Patrons purchasing “I Can’t Remember the Alamo” merchandise at the bars are not likely to believe those items are officially licensed, any more than they are likely to believe that restaurants or rental car companies that incorporate the Alamo in their names have an official connection to the Cradle of Texas Liberty.

Update on August 28, 2012:  Scott Huddleston reports for the Express-News that the General Land Office has hired a firm to manage the gift shop at the Alamo:

Jerry Gilbert, vice president of marketing for Event Network, said the firm was thrilled and humbled to be at the Alamo, and committed to working with the DRT and Land Office in balancing consumerism with reverence at the site. “We’re tremendously sensitive to that issue,” Gilbert said. “We’ll always err toward being smart, being careful.”

If Event Network can’t limbo under the current height of the bar for balancing consumerism and reverence in stocking merchandise, it would be called Ripley’s.

Return to the Alamo: Please don’t gag the Daughters (Whose side am I on anyway?).

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Kathleen Carter. Karen Thompson. You go, girls! Speak your mind.

According to Ken Herman in the Austin Statesman, Texas Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson is attempting to force these leaders of the Daughters of the Republic of Texas to bite their tongues:

…Patterson banned Daughters of the Republic of Texas officials from talking to reporters about the Alamo without his agency’s approval. “Information released without prior knowledge and express approval of the GLO may be grounds for immediate contract termination,” says his new rule.

Now those are fighting words.

Commissioner Patterson, you are new at your job. Yes, I know you have been Land Commissioner for a decade, but you are newly arrived at the Alamo. Yes, I know the Sons of the Republic of Texas deemed you a Knight of San Jacinto and you represented the county that includes the soaring monument on the battleground. But having that giant erection in your backyard must have gone to your head.

The Alamo is different. As San Antonians first and Texans second, we regard fighting about the Alamo as a sacred right. We have been fighting publicly about it since 1836, and no one in Austin can quash those afflicted with severe cases of Alamobsession.

Yes, running a dictatorship is easier than a democracy, but the Daughters themselves already tried that approach. Some of the very people Commissioner Patterson wants to silence attempted to gag dissension among their own siblings. Without success. Fortunately for Texas. If Daughters were not so persistently outspoken, the General Land Office would not be in charge of the Alamo today.

Aside from supporting their right to free speech, my agreement with the Daughters probably pretty much stops there. Although, I never thought the Daughters would call trump with the double-edged Native American card.

The Alamo Always Trumps
1936 Texas Centennial No 5, “The Alamo always Trumps,” digital collage by Gayle Brennan Spencer, Visit http://postcardssanantonio.com.

Again, from Herman’s column in the Statesman:

…Daughters’ President General Karen R. Thompson said her organization “strongly” objects to the change. “The Alamo grounds are considered sacred, not only because 189 men died in battle on March 6, 1836, but because the remains of Native Americans are buried and entombed in the complex property,” she said in a statement.

The Daughters and the descendants of the original Native Americans whose labors contributed to the ancient mission’s walls are rarely on the same page. But adversity calls for uniting all underdogs.

And unite against what common enemy?, you might ask if you make it this far into this post.

“Hooch,” as Carter terms it. If you somehow missed this story affecting the lives of all Texans, catch up by reading Scott Huddleston’s “Hold the ‘Hooch’” in the San Antonio Express-News. The Land Commissioner has proposed alcohol could be served to those renting out Alamo Hall, not the Alamo itself, for special events.

Yes, the painful specter of prohibition raises its head once again. The leadership of the Daughters evidently thinks nothing stronger than apple cider should be raised in toasts anywhere near the Alamo.

Apple cider? What would Davey say?

While I’m willing to accept William Barrett Travis might have been a teetotaler, what about the rest of the guys?

Taking a lead of freedom of revision of history from the Texas State Board of Education and accepting Travis did indeed draw a line in the sand….  If Travis asked how many men wanted to be forced to convert to Catholicism, many men at the Alamo would have leapt to join him for the promise of freedom of religion.

If Travis asked who wants to continue to ride deep into the heart of Coahuila every time you want to conduct official business, not many at the Alamo would have stayed on the side of Mexico. That was a major inconvenience.

But, on the other hand, if Travis had drawn a line and said you can drink alcohol on the Mexican side but my side is dry? Travis might have found himself pretty lonely.

Free speech I’m all for preserving, so the Daughters get my backing on that issue. But keeping Alamo Hall, which was off the battle site, dry? Not worth fighting for.

This is not an “Alamoment.” Seems as though both the Daughters and the Commissioner should pick their battles more carefully. They should be forging a strong partnership, not tearing it asunder.

What would Davey say? Remaining in the revisionist vein of amateur historians, I think he gladly would raise a glass of something hard:

Salud, amor, pesetas y tiempo para disfrutarlos.

‘Hail to Happiest, Most Joyous of Carnivals,’ 1912

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San Antonio Express

April 12, 1912

Programme for Fiesta Week

Monday

Fiesta San Jacinto opens. All-day shows on all plazas, open air concerts and marching bands.
4:30 P.M. – Decorated automobile parade. It will form at 4 o’clock and start made promptly.
At night, shows on all plazas, open air concerts and marching bands. free exhibitions here and there. Mexican village in Haymarket Square.

Tuesday

Shows on all the plazas all day and in the evening, open air concerts and marching bands. Free exhibitions here and there. Mexican village in Haymarket Square.
8 P.M. – King Zeus will arrive at Southern Pacific Station and be met by assemblage of loyal subjects with massed bands.
8:30 P.M. – FIRELIGHT PARADE will start at the Federal Building on Alamo Plaza, led by King Zeus, the way being blazed by Milt Mooney with his 1,000-light electric tandem.
8:35 P.M. – “Fiesta Fete.” “The Little Princess” in Grand Opera House, the cast made up of society maidens and men of the city.

Wednesday

Entertainment of various kinds on all plazas, Mexican village in Haymarket Square, open day and evening. Open air concerts and marching bands.
4:30 P.M. – Burlesque circus parade, introducing strange, ferocious and voracious animals.
8:30 P.M. – “Fiesta Fete.” “The Little Princess” in Grand Opera House, with the same cast as the previous night.

Thursday

Mexican village in Haymarket Square, new and novel shows in all the plazas, open air concerts and marching bands, open for enjoyment early and late. Free exhibitions.
3 P.M. – Parade of Ben Hur Shriners with band of initiates seeking passage over the hot sands.
4:30 P.M. – Civic trades display, with more than one hundred decorated commercial floats in parade.
7 P.M. – Ceremonial session of Ben Hur Temple. Nobles of the Mystic Shrine.
8:15 P.M. – “Texas Under Six Flags” in the Grand Opera House, with cast of society people.
9 P.M. – Fiesta Queen will be crowned in Beethoven Hall amidst a court of the lilies, one of the most beautiful and magnificent events ever held in this city.
10 P.M. – San Jacinto ball, given by the San Jacinto Club in St. Anthony Hotel.

Friday

Shows, shows and more shows in every one of the beautiful plazas. Mexican village in Haymarket Square. Marching bands and open air concerts. All day, morning and evening. Free exhibitions.
8:30 P.M. – Parade of Fables, an allegorical parade, one of the most beautiful events of Fiesta week.
8:35 P.M. – “Texas Under Six Flags,” in Grand Opera House, with same cast as previous night.
9 P.M. – Ball in honor of Fiesta Queen, given under auspices of the Order of the Alamo in Beethoven Hall.

Saturday

All shows open morning, afternoon and evening in all the plazas. Marching bands and open air concerts. Free exhibitions. Mexican village in Haymarket Square.
4:30 P.M. – FLOWER PARADE AND BATTLE OF FLOWERS. Floats will get in line at four o’clock all ready to start at word of command.

8:30 P.M. – Mask Lantern Parade, in which travelling men and members of various athletic and fraternal societies will participate, each carrying a lantern and wearing mask.
This will be followed by a period of revelry and pure, clean fun until the midnight hour announces the close of Fiesta.

The newspaper was quite the plot-spoiler when it came to the “Fiesta Fete”:

The story of the fete is the story of a princess in quest of a husband, who must be a prince and yet who must combine all the many graces with the romantic charms of a medieval knight, forming the basis of the plot. Beautiful maiden weave a magic spell about the princess, and bid off of the eligible young men of the kingdom to a ball, which is given on an enchanted island, the Isle of Dreams, where every maiden meets her heart’s desire. “Cupid,” no longer a blind boy, but a very clever maiden, aided by her nymphs, contrives to produce the prince at just the right moment, and the beautiful princess, thinking she is wedding a penniless minstrel, gives heart and hand to the “Prince of the Isle of Make Believe,” just a rainbow’s length from the Isle of Dreams.

Refraining from revealing the predictably painstakingly described happy ending, we’ll move on instead to the paper’s description of the arrival of the King of Fiesta:

He will come in the Royal Special and will be met at the Southern Pacific station by thousands of his loyal subjects. All the bands in the city will be massed and be at the station to “Hail the Chief.” The King will be driven through many of the principal streets of the city and, promptly at 8:30 o’clock, will head the Fire-Light parade, which will start from Avenue E and Alamo Plaza. He will head the procession and the way will be cleared for him by Milt Mooney driving his electric tandem. San Antonio is proud of this tandem, besides driving two of the finest high-school show horses in the country, Mr. Mooney has equipped the horses and cart with more than one thousand incandescent lights, operated by sixteen batteries, and himself wears a coat similarly adorned.

The Fire-Light Parade “will illustrate the development of light and fire, showing both in their various phases.…” Among the floats were: “Starlight,” with Venus perched in a crescent; “Moonlight,” two lovers basking in gleaming moonbeams; “Phosphorous,” with Neptune rising from the sea; “Will of the Wisp,” bearing grotesque motifs from A Midsummer’s Night Dream, including bull frogs and toad stools; and “Cloud Reflection,” with an aeroplane resting on a cloud. Members of the San Antonio Turn Verein were charged with providing the men and women to play the parts aboard the floats.

The Fiesta Queen to be crowned in 1912 would 13th in the line, but in the same edition of the San Antonio Express, the social columnist, Marin B. Fenwick revealed the rocky history behind the crown:

At this distant day it is amusing to recall the social row that was precipitated by the choice of the first queen. The ladies with the best intentions in the world and for the purpose of interesting a wide circle, selected Miss Ida Archer, the belle of Austin, whose fame for beauty and grace had been sung all over the State. There was no effort made in those days to keep the identity of the queen a secret, and those who approved of the choice made haste to proclaim the fact that the most beautiful girl in Texas had consented to grace the occasion. After the first announcement they made haste more slowly. A storm of protest poured in from all sides, and the men all declared that it was a direct insult to the San Antonio girls. It looked for a time as though the ball would be boycotted, but curiosity brought out a large attendance. Miss Archer, the innocent victim, came, saw and only partially conquered.

Choosing the queen was too important to be left to the womenfolk, so soon the men took over the whole selection process:

Four years ago, the Order of the Alamo was formed, the membership including the prominent society men of the city. Since that time they have chosen the queen by secret ballot, and the coronation is attended with a great deal of pomp and display.

Unfortunately, much of the copy in related articles is illegible. But it seems amazing how many of the descriptions are reflected a century later in today’s 10-day celebration of Fiesta San Antonio.

Though I just can’t stop worrying about the feet of those Ben Hur initiates seeking passage over the “hot sands.” Should that be taken literally? And, if so, did they then have to squeeze their poor blistered soles into shoes for the evening ceremonies with the “Nobles”?

Viva Fiesta!

Note Added on April 22, 2012: Actually, it is quite amazing there ever was a second Battle of Flowers Parade. Sarah Reveley transcribed the description of the 1891 melee from an April 25, 1891, edition of the San Antonio Daily Light:

…The procession contained over 100 carriages and other vehicles, all gaily decorated and many containing decorations of real artistic merit. Mr. Madarasz’s carriage, decked in pure white lilies and variegated grasses, with honeysuckle was plain, pretty and neat. Col. H. B. Andrews’ pony phaeton, with four Shetlands drawing it, was exquisite, and J. J. Stevens’ children in a four-in-hand Shetland surrey, representing a yacht, was also very pretty….

On arriving at the plaza the police divided the procession into two lines, each half going in opposite directions and passing around the park were brought, face to face with each other. The crowd on foot pressed the carriages closely and the fight began and waged furiously for nearly an hour. The occupants of the carriages had all the ammunition while those on foot had none. They began picking the fallen roses from the pavement, and even tore off the trimmings of the carriages, and soon had the best of the fight.  Heavy bunches of laurel thrown soon had their effect, and many ladies lost their temper and used their carriage whips indiscriminately on the crowd. One lady struck Mr. Doc Fitzgerald, a passive spectator, a severe blow on the face with her whip, but did not see fit to apologise for her mistake. Mr. H. P. Drought made an ugly cut with his whip into the crowd, struck a negro and the boy ran into a carriage horse in front of the Menger and nearly caused a runaway. A negro driving in a phaeton by himself in the procession, struck Louis Glaeser, a white boy, in the right eye with the ends of his reins. The buckle on the straps made a cruel wound, and the boy was taken to a drug store by sympathetic bystanders. One young angel with white wings appealed to the crowd for protection from the missiles saying, “I wish you men would make them quit….”

The police were powerless to keep the people off the park beds, and prevent them from tearing off the flowers. One outright fight occurred. Mr. Phil Shook, one of the horseback party, lost his temper, and cutting a man in the face with his riding whip, was assaulted, and a fist fight on the pavement resulted. Both combatants were arrested by the police. Mr. Charley Baker used his umbrella for defense. While the crowd was very dense on the plaza, waiting for the procession to come along, Mr. Cristoph Pfeuffer’s splendid team and carriage took fright on South Alamo street, at an electric car. The carriage was decorated and contained several ladies, a child and the driver. Dashing into Alamo street, past and into the crowd of people and vehicles, it overturned a buggy and horse at the corner, and its driver jumped out and was dragged under the carriage by the lines. The lady on the front seat caught one of the lines and held it, but the horses made straight for the crowd of women and children in the park and struck a very deep mass of them, it being impossible for them to move out of the way. The ladies were thrown out and their clothing was badly torn. One little boy was knocked senseless, another was bruised, and one little girl had her apron torn off.  Other children were trampled by the frightened people. The plunging horses were secured and the carriage was taken to a side street….

Some irrepressible small boys arranged a dog fight in the midst of an interested crowd of spectators, during the battle, and a regular stampede ensued. Some of the combatants whose supply of ammunition had exhausted, resorted to buggy robes and quirts for aggressive warfare, and umbrellas and parasols for the defensive….

The battle was a success, but if it is given next year, more police will be needed, carriages must not be allowed on the plaza at all, and the participants must not lose their temper.