Category: Written Word

Gayle in Jail; Send Bail

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Spending more than a year with papers and photographs belonging to Max and Minnie Alma Tomerlin Voelcker encircling my desk has left me deeply attached to the pair of dairy farmers I never knew.  Among the things I learned about Minnie was that she cared deeply about children.  Stan Graff told me, “She adored Jerry Lewis and always watched his telethon.”  She then would pick up the phone and make her pledge to help “Jerry’s Kids.”  (Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)

mda lock-upThe Muscular Dystrophy Association called while I was proofreading the chapter mentioning the telethon in the final manuscript of Last Farm Standing on Buttermilk Hill.  That eerie coincidence made it rather hard to say no.  As I prepare to go to jail for Jerry’s Kids, I dedicate my efforts to the memory of Minnie.  (Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)

gayleinjail
Gayle in jail; please send bail.

So…. MDA is throwing me in jail on August 12 and not letting me out until I make bail.  My birthday is August 13; so I really would like to be out in time to celebrate.   (Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)

My birthday falls on a Friday this year; so I am not sure that is a good omen.  Bad things have been known to happen on August 13:  the Aztecs fell at Tenochtitlan, and Man o’ War lost for the first and only time during his racing career.  On the day of my birth, the heavens were so angry with my parents for bringing me into this world, a hurricane struck my hometown.  And in case you think that a mere coincidence, hurricanes returned for my first and second birthdays as well.  I just do not think I was part of God’s divine plan.  (Are you still reading?  Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)

I spent a lot of time in confession when I was young, but, up to now, the worst sentence I ever received was to say three “Hail Marys” and one “Our Father.”  I have never been thrown in jail (the old bank Vault behind Zinc Wine. Champagne. Spirits.), and I am not looking forward to it.  Hey, I’m claustrophobic.  (Come on.  It’s tax-deductible.  Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)

I thought my sisters would help me.  They are generous souls.  But they each only coughed up a measly dollar (I know every dollar counts in fundraising, but they are my own flesh and blood.).  Maybe it had something to do with the message I sent them noting that NPR had recommended contacting elderly relatives to be sure they were surviving the heat wave.  They were unimpressed by the pledge on my MDA website:  “…I promise to be nicer to you in the future.  No, this time I mean it.  Really.  Truly, I will.”  (Click here to donate now and be spared the rest of this blog.)  

Do they think I know another 1,998 people ready to chip in a dollar to save me?  No-o-o-o.  At this rate, I’ll die in jail.   (You must be as tight as my sisters.  Click here now.)   

So I am turning to you, my good friend.  After all, “A friend in need is a friend indeed.”  Remember: 

A good friend will always help you make bail.  A really good friend will be sitting beside you asking, “But we had a blast, didn’t we?”

P.S.  My Campaign Theme Song is The Jeff Healey Band’s It’s only money.  (Of course, it will cost you another dollar to hear the whole song.)

Please donate now to ensure my timely release, and kindly contribute more than a dollar or donate often.  It’s not about me.  It’s for Jerry’s kids.

Alamoment: How the Daughters Felt on Receiving Audit Request

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Alamoment: 

The instant when you realize that you are about to be completely and monumentally screwed.

Love this great word coined by a new blog, Portmanteau: The Compoundium, self-described as the:

compilation of several portmanteaus, or “blend[s] of two (or more) words or morphemes and their meanings into one new word.” (Wikipedia)

The Compoundium describes that special Alamoment feeling:

A bright, crisp morning greeted James Whitesides (not to be confused with the Irish poet) as he rose from his post at the mission near San Antonio de Bexar.  Texas had been good to him; the land was cheap and the humidity made his hair very manageable.  The war with Santa Anna hadn’t even wrinkled his disposition.  He took a deep breath and open his sleep-filmed eyes.

And then he looked to the south….

Alamoment:  The feeling experienced by the member of the Daughters of the Republic of Texas who first spied the Texas Attorney General’s fax requesting volumes upon volumes of information to audit the guardians of the Alamo.

While it might seem as though it has been some time since I returned to issues plaguing the Alamo and Alamo Plaza, I secretly have been adding updates at the bottom of older posts.  For example, in older posts about the Alamo and its plaza you can find out that Sam’s the man currently working on sandwich boards on Alamo Plaza; view the Texas Historical Commission’s reactions to the expansion plans the Daughters have for the Alamo grounds; or link to recent news stories and editorials.  I should probably be creating new posts or at least posting these as comments, but then it would seem as though I am talking to myself (which, of course, is what blogging is).

After all, I do not want to seem Alamobsessed (one for The Compoundium?).

July 3 Update:  The big, bad bully Express-News is picking on the Daughters again:

The Daughters also issued a release Friday, accusing the San Antonio Express-News of directing “unrelenting attacks” on the DRT through its articles and editorials.

And while looking for a full copy of the Daughters’ release online, came across the unfortunate news of a setback in fundraising for Alamo preservation in the Dallas Morning News.

Update Added on July 4:  Amazing what Sam Perez has accomplished.  Drove through Alamo Plaza yesterday, fully expecting every single sandwich board (see photos here) to be back in place in the face of every single one of the 50,000 AA conventioneers in town.  After all, Sam would not be out there enforcing the code over the Fourth of July holiday.  But all the sandwich boards were gone, even the ones at the Houston Street establishment next to the Indigo, save one exception:  the monster-sized one outside Pat O’s.  Way to go Sam!  We are still saddled with the unsightly clutter outside Fuddrucker’s and Pat O’s, but this is a remarkable step forward. 

Now, if only the City Manager can charge an equivalent miracle-worker to enforce the multitude of signage violations filling every window pane along the west side of the plaza….

Update on July 7:  As this blogger is but a sophomoric soul, the following represents a comprehensive summary of the “do not do this” lessons one could learn in P.R. 101:

drt response

And the follow-up story in the Dallas Morning News.

Second Update on July 7:  Brian Myler of KSAT-TV has been working on a story on Alamo Plaza signage violations for weeks and reports the City has been issuing citations.  A feature will air during the 10:30 p.m. newscast on Friday, July 9.

Update on July 9:  The Wall Street Journal

Update on July 10: 

Update on July 14:  The “daughter” they wish they never had…. 

Update on July 20: KSTX Radio interviews Express-News’ Scott Huddleston; president of DRT unable to find time in her schedule to join them. 

Update on July 25:  These updates tacked onto this blog entry are getting downright cumbersome.  Might have to risk being labeled sophomoricly Alamobsessed and do a full-fledged post soon.  Scott Huddleston writes online:  “Alamo Workers Reassured about Jobs.” 

Update on July 26:  State wants its just desserts à-la-mo-de; opposes DRT trademark application. 

Update on July 27:  Follow-Up Alamo Trademark Story

Update on August 1:  This thread keeps going, but it seems so convenient to provide access to the related news reports in one post.  Engineering report returned, and editorial on trademark.

Trademark Update on August 24:  Dallas Morning News

Update on September 11:   Another linguistic portmanteau from The Compoundium:

Obscenery – “The hotel on the strip was fine, but the view was just awful.”

So we guess we are Alamobsessed with the obscenery dominating the plaza.

The Magical Powers of the Camera

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While I am blogging frivolously about “potty art” and “molecular gastronomy,” friend and photojournalist Vic Hinterlang is spending his time documenting daily life in Haiti.  Always wondered how he managed to stand his ground through the years snapping photographs when guns seem aimed his way, and a recent post explains the magical, invincible powers of his camera:

Vic Hinterlang photo of surgery being performed in the tent hospital operated by Doctors without Borders, Hopital St. Louis, in Haiti

At this point I was given the all clear to photograph, for which I was grateful, and not just because I was looking forward to taking pictures.  As is always the case, once I had the camera to my eye, what was occurring on the other side of it didn’t affect me personally.  The second I looked through the viewfinder, any queasiness I’d been feeling vanished.

The camera must make him feel invisible, much the same way I feel emboldened by a false sense of anonymity blogging.  Although, hiding behind a keyboard certainly affords better protection than a camera.

January 8, 2011, Update:  Vic is back in Haiti and posting on his blog.

March 23, 2011, Update: Vic’s returned to Haiti with Aristide and is blogging again.

Update on August 25, 2011: Oh, and then there’s Juarez in August 2011. San Lorenzo must have been looking after him and his magic camera there.