Cheez Doodles as Art

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Blame the arrival of The McNay’s Impressions in the mail for making me veer off in this direction….  

Photograph of Morrie Yohai by Bill Davis of Newsday reproduced in The New York Times

Where was I the day Morrie Yohai died? 

I have no idea.  I completely missed his death in early August. 

Maybe it wasn’t big news in Texas.  San Antonio is Cheeto-land, staked out by Charles Elmer Doolin in 1948.   

But I’m originally from the East Coast.  We ate Cheez Doodles before the Frito-Lay invasion, and Yohai was the man credited with their invention.  Although I can’t locate a copy of the image online, his obituaries all repeat the claim he proudly kept a photo of Julia Child fondling Cheez Doodles on display.

Wonder what makes them such an artificially bright orange.  DADT.  Know I outgrew grabbing bags of these out of vending machines long ago, but the memory of attempting to keep control of the steering wheel with slimy, orange-encrusted fingers is still strong.  In a 2008 interview, artist Sandy Skoglund said: 

The manipulation of food in terms of shape, color, taste, and so on, has achieved highly unnatural results.

Au gratin bather: Doodle-lover from http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/267-cheesedoodles.htm

An ounce of these baked puffs actually provides 15 percent of your daily calcium needs, but analysis beyond that definitely ruins the pleasure.  DADT.  According to doodle fun facts, that pleasure is significant enough for people ignoring the nutritional warnings to consume the equivalent of 36 Olympic-sized pools filled with Cheez Doodles each year, or the equivalent weight of 1,000 African elephants – 15-million pounds.  If you laid these Cheez Doodles end-to-end you could munch your way all the way from downtown San Antonio to the top of the steps of the Texas State Capitol.

Sandy Skoglund's "The Cocktail Party"

Have no idea how many Cheez Doodles Skoglund used to create “The Cocktail Party,” a cheesy (apologies)  installation recently acquired by the McNay Art Museum.  But I don’t think the writer for the McNay cares for Cheez Doodles much:

“The Cocktail Party” evokes decadence as Sandy Skoglund transforms reality into a garish dream world where mass-produced food products threaten to consume. 

Makes the Doodle people in Skoglund’s installation sound as though they are pod people from a horror film.  But Skoglund herself makes food seem a logical medium: 

…I used the subject of food to create a common language.  After all, everyone eats.

On PBS, Skoglund explained how art became her chosen path: 

…the interesting thing for me is the ultimate sanity of allowing yourself to behave insanely.  When I think back to why I became an artist, it was all about feeling I wasn’t normal….  Even before…I knew what an artist was, I was interested in creating my own worlds.

Before Skoglund gets too far into her lecture at the McNay on Sunday, January 30, I hope she will quickly provide the answers to the low-brow, trivial Cheez-Doodle questions that, left lingering, might distract some small-minded listeners from focusing on her meatier, more meaningful remarks.  Questions such as:

  • Do rodents or roaches ever crawl into museums to nibble away at the Cheez?  
  • You created this piece a number of years back, are these still the original Doodles?
  • When you were taking the photograph, how did the models walking on them keep from crushing Doodles?
  • And, if these are the original Doodles, are they one of the frightening foods that, left undisturbed, will never, ever disintegrate?

Okay.  If I promise not to ask any of these, can I get past the guards?

Update on March 3, 2011: Installing oodles of doodles is no easy task. Watch the time-lapsed video of the staging of “The Cocktail Party” at the McNay.

The year 2020 is another 22.5 million visitors to the Alamo away…

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But with much of the “visioning” aimed at reinvigorating downtown, it would be a shame not to take on a challenge that has bedeviled local visionaries for decades:  Re-thinking Alamo Plaza.

Specifically, the tacky atmosphere that prevails across from our city’s most famous landmark cries out for another look.

In the January 7 edition of the Express-News, Scott Stroud urges city leaders not to forget Alamo Plaza in its visionary focus on downtown.

He continues:

But the carnival atmosphere poses peculiar challenges.  These are private properties and successful businesses, and it will take a lot of creativity — and maybe a lot of money — to alter the feel of the area.

Further, there are aspects of the current atmosphere that have value.

“There’s something nice about all the animation and activity, and the fact that people are there,” said Xavier Gonzalez, former HDRC chairman and the design director at RVK Architects.  “But once you think about it, you begin to say this is kind of cheap, and not really its highest and best use as far as history is concerned.”

DiGiovanni thinks re-zoning and other changes could be put in motion gradually, partly by involving property owners and the citizens of San Antonio.  He said a master-planning process aimed at “restoring the reverence” of the plaza could lead to a grander vision with broad public support.

Imagine if the plaza’s carnival atmosphere gave way to sidewalk cafes and art galleries, with apartments looking out on the Alamo from above. Imagine also a day when every first-time visitor to San Antonio wouldn’t gaze up at the iconic wall, then turn around and go, “Ugh.”

Start now, and maybe in a few years you’d have something — by, say, 2020?

While the vision Stroud lays out is great, there are major improvements that could be made at virtually no expense today. 

Just because buildings contain junk does not mean they have to appear junky (Have I written these exact words before?).  If the city merely enforced the ordinances governing the Alamo Plaza Historic District currently on the books, all of the tacky illegal signs cluttering the plaza (see examples) would vanish, including the sandwich boards the Daughters of the Republic of Texas place in front of the Alamo itself.

The city needs to act today.  Inaction until 2020 means another 22.5 million visitors to the Alamo will emerge from the Alamo and say “‘Ugh!'”

March 5, 2011, Update:  Scott Stroud recommends keeping “rethinking Alamo Plaza” simple in his Express-News column:

A more dignified plaza doesn’t have to involve removing buildings across from the mission. They’re historic in their own right. But we do have to dial down their garishness.

And David Phillips, a major investor in businesses on Alamo Plaza, offers a well thought-out response to criticism of the businesses around the Alamo.

Update on March 6: The Express-News Editorial Board weighs in on the plaza and historical accuracy.

Mudslinging Season along the River Walk

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There are so many trucks, cranes and workers in the muddy river bottom this week it looks more like Loop 410 than the river bend.  The silt-removal effort is a major (de-)construction project. 

When the river bend was drained for its annual maintenance in “the old days” – back in 1985 when we staged the First Maybe Annual River Bottom Festival and Mud Parade and votes for mud royalty had to be paid in cash, literally a nickel at a time – only a handful of Parks and Recreation employees would be spotted in waders in the mud, fishing out chairs, glassware and utensils tossed in by river revelers.  Workers might patch a crumbling wall or two, but that was it. 

Fortunately, the water will be returned to the river by January 11.  In the mean time, it’s actually entertaining to watch the big trucks get stuck in the muck and it all just means another excuse to party for the Paseo del Rio Association.

Maybe if the city elected not to refill the river, the owner of the Riverwalk Plaza Hotel would not be forced to erase the lime green paint from the wall that assaults pedestrians as they head into downtown from King William.  Then he could even remove “Riverwalk” from the hotel’s name.  If he does not want to be governed by the standards that apply in the district, why market the property that way?  It also would be so convenient to reserve the river bed for overflow parking (Sorry, but that wall just invites mudslinging).

Update on January 6:  Learn who is campaigning to serve as Mud Queen and King and how you can join in the festivities.

Update on January 7:  Mud news in USA Today

Update on June 5: Finally, the lime green wall of the Riverwalk Inn has been painted a more subtle tan, blending in with the brick of the nearby Granada and Tower Life Building.