That recurring nightmare. The one where you arrive in class only to find out a test is on the agenda. Or a term paper is due. And, once again, your scattered brain is caught unaware, even though everyone else in the class is fully prepared.
So vivid. So real.
You jerk awake, feverishly perspiring. Mercifully. It’s but a dream.
But suppose you did not wake up just in the nick of time? Suppose you could not shake the nightmare? It persisted, your new reality, throughout the day.
Or in the case of someone we love, suppose you are due in court to represent a client? You toss restlessly all night. You arise in the morning frantic to find the papers.
Those papers the client entrusted to you. Those papers of which there are no other copies. You wander looking for those papers – the ones “they” took.
No one you ask professes any knowledge of them. No one you tell seems to comprehend the importance of the missing files. You are panicked, but they all seem unconcerned.
The client is scheduled to arrive any minute to meet with you; yet, you have done nothing for him.
You watch the clock, awaiting the appointed time.
You were always so responsible. So reliable. Now caught flat-footed. Unprepared. Unable to remember any facts of the case. You put your hand to your head, as though that will force the jumbled file cabinet inside to spring open.
How is this happening? How will you face “this old guy” who put his faith in you?
2 o’clock slowly, slowly comes.
And goes.
The client doesn’t show.
Repeat.
Ouch!
Melissa
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Recurring nightmares of the worst kind.
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My Dad didn’t have Alzheimer’s but he did have mild dementia and that was bad enough. I just pray it doesn’t happen to me.
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…. Or if it’s in my destiny, I’d prefer not to be conscious of its arrival.
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I think of that often as I watch my mom struggle to find her words and wonder if she knows what is happening to her. I hope not. Yet the not knowing seems equally as terrifying.
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